


A Single Spy

by hartwinning



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Attempt at Humor, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-08 09:23:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7752097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hartwinning/pseuds/hartwinning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"Say, Professor Hart," Eggsy says before pausing to give Harry a very deliberate, thorough eyefucking while licking his lips suggestively, "would you mind turning 'round and writing your name on the chalkboard?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Charlie huffs in frustration. "This isn't primary school, Eggy, stop wasting everyone's time."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I just want to know if it's spelled like -" Eggsy puts his hands together to form a heart shape, places it over his chest and mimics a thumping motion.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh lord," Roxy groans quietly beside him.</em>
</p><p>~</p><p>(Undercover) Professor!Hart<br/>IncorrigibleFlirt!Eggsy</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Single Spy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [All_fandoms_fangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_fandoms_fangirl/gifts).



> Prompt: Harry is Eggsy's university professor, but what Eggsy does not know is that he is in fact an undercover Kingsman spy, there to bust some teachers for something (a.k.a heavy drug dealing or whatever you like). Cue Eggsy flirting shamelessly with Harry. And poor little Professor Hart could never resist such a pretty thing.
> 
> BTW Merlin and Roxy are a side pairing, my writer does not need to add them in.
> 
> _Notes: American English, self-beta'd, just gloss over the history parts, and the sketchy science, this is basically a crack version of A Single Man??_
> 
> _Just a trigger warning, there is a brief discussion of suicide, but none of the characters act on it or are planning to._
> 
> _I hope you like it!_

♚ ♚ ♚

 

Harry forgoes the usual Kingsman stripe in favor of a more understated tie, a skinny, dark brown one with a subtle raised pattern. He heaves a sigh as he wraps it around the collar of his plain white shirt and begins to knot it.

"Just get through the goddamn day," he whispers dramatically to his reflection.

"Oh come off it, Galahad," Merlin sputters in his ear through his spyglasses, "this isn't some Tom Ford cinematic masterpiece, and you are the furthest thing from George Falconer."

"I beg your pardon," Harry sniffs, "I'll have you know I've been mistaken for Colin Firth on more than one occasion."

Merlin scoffs. "In your dreams, Galahad."

"I do wish your voice wasn't the first one I hear every morning, Merlin," Harry says, finishing off the tie quickly and expertly.

"Also in your dreams."

Harry rolls his eyes. "No bulletproof bespoke today, correct?"

"Correct," Merlin confirms, "The next couple of days will be initial intelligence gathering and assessment, I see no need for you to be armed or bulletproof in a college classroom."

"It's not as if this were an American university," Harry jokes.

"My thoughts exactly, although I like to leave the actual saying of such non-PC jokes to you."

Harry slips on his suit jacket, feeling a bit naked without his gun and holster. "Would it be alright to mess with the syllabus, do you think? The topics seem a bit stodgy."

"Your cover is a history professor, Galahad, you can't fucking change history to suit you."

Harry hums noncommittally.

Merlin sighs, resigned. "Alright, Galahad, I'll leave you to it. I'll check in throughout the day, see how you're getting on. No more of this melodramatic George Falconer roleplay, please," Merlin warns, "in particular the part where he cavorts naked in the ocean with a young, pretty, blond thing. You're on a mission for god's sake!"

Harry hums noncommittally.

 

♚ ♚ ♚

 

Harry races through the faculty car park, the tires of his Kingsman-issued, cover-appropriate Toyota Prius squealing as he makes a sudden, sharp turn into a free space.

True to Galahad form, Harry's running late for his class.

As he hustles across the quad, in the back of his mind he registers the presence of a very large, modern building standing in sharp contrast to the ivy-covered brick building housing the history department. He knows from the mission dossier that the building is new, built on tech billionaire Richmond Valentine's dime. It's one of several buildings comprising the science and engineering college, a separate entity from the humanities college but physically adjacent on the university's campus.

It's also where his mark, neuroscience PhD candidate Gisele 'Gazelle' Norman, is likely to be found.

No time for that now, however. At the moment Harry's main concern is getting to class before the students decide it's within their rights to invoke the ten-minute rule.

At the door of his classroom, Harry takes a moment to compose himself. He's not usually lacking in confidence, but if given the choice between lecturing a room full of young people and single-handedly clearing an entire warehouse of illegal organ trade traffickers with nothing but a knife and a splintered chair leg (true story), he'd choose the latter any day.

Harry takes a deep breath, squares his shoulders, and opens the door.

The boisterous chatter ceases instantly. Harry strides purposefully into the room and dumps his briefcase and Rainmaker (did Merlin really expect him to go an entire day completely unarmed?) on the desk. While he has no plans of opening with the _'fear is why the minority is persecuted'_ speech from _A Single Man_ , he does adopt the pose and perches, half-sitting, on the desk.

A long, drawn out wolf-whistle followed by an appreciative _"Fuuuck meee..."_ breaks the silence. Harry's tingly spy senses are telling him it's coming from somewhere in the back row, but he chooses not to acknowledge the invitation for the time being. Doesn't stop him from preening internally, however.

"Good morning," Harry begins, his naturally clear, crisp voice carrying effortlessly across the room, "My name is Harry Hart, and I'll be your history professor for the duration of Dr. Rosen's paternity leave. I know it's extremely inconvenient for all of you to have a substitute so late in the semester, but as some of you will find out later in life, or perhaps already know, babies don't give a whit about anyone's schedules except their own."

This garners a few chuckles, but before Harry can continue, some shuffling occurs among the ranks. Harry looks up toward the back of the classroom, where a young man wearing a white cap and an obnoxious black and gold track jacket is being elbowed and jostled amidst cheers from his two mates.

Mr. White Cap has apparently decided to upgrade himself to a front-row seat. He keeps his cap pulled down low over his eyes as he makes his way to the front of the classroom.

"Oi, Charlie," White Cap pipes up, "Budge over, wouldya? I'm sittin' next to Roxy."

"Fuck off, Eggy," Charlie replies, crossing his arms over his chest and planting himself more firmly into his seat.

"Wanker," White Cap hisses and walks around to the other side of a young lady, presumably Roxy. He winks at Harry before taking a seat.

Harry catches Roxy's eye and she gives him a smug look, suggesting she's in on her friend's antics and might be privy to his possible proclivity for older (?) male (?) professors.

Harry arches an eyebrow superciliously to mask his growing curiosity. "Are you quite finished, Mr. - Eggy - was it?" he asks when the dust has settled.

The white cap is tipped in a mock salute and taken off the occupant's head, revealing short blond hair, a strong jaw, sparkly eyes of indeterminate color, and a slim mouth currently quirked on one side in a lopsided grin.

Neon warning lights start flashing in Harry's mind, superimposed with a floating, scowling Merlin head mouthing _"YOUNG PRETTY BLOND THING!!!"_

"The name's Eggsy, sir. E-G-G-S-Y," the young man supplies helpfully before adding, "Can't wait to hear you shout my name aaalll niiight looong, yeah, Professor?" He punctuates this with an obscene roll of the hips.

Hoots and hollers from Eggsy's cohort in the back row.

Harry draws on his thirty years experience as a spy to hide his amusement and instead gives Eggsy an unimpressed look.

Undeterred, Eggsy plods on. "Say, Professor _Hart_ ," he says before pausing to give Harry a very deliberate, thorough eyefucking while licking his lips suggestively, "would you mind turning 'round and writing your name on the chalkboard?"

Charlie huffs in frustration. "This isn't primary school, Eggy, stop wasting everyone's time."

"I just want to know if it's spelled like -" Eggsy puts his hands together to form a heart shape, places it over his chest and mimics a thumping motion.

"Oh lord," Roxy groans quietly beside him.

Cue more commentary from the back row - "He just wants to stare at yer arse, sir!"

Harry coughs to cover up his laughter as he considers how best to de-escalate the situation. He stands up, puts on his best 'stern professor' face and adjusts his shirt cuffs - at this, Harry hears a sharp inhale from Eggsy - and strides over to the front row of seats. 

"Someone ought to teach you some manners," Harry tells Eggsy mildly.

"Teach _me_ some manners," someone murmurs, which sets off another round of giggles. Eggsy turns around to glare at this sudden rival for Harry's attention. He gives a feeble yelp of surprise when he turns back around to find Harry practically looming over him.

"Are you trying to impress me, Eggsy?" Harry asks, his voice set to that low, silky register usually reserved for seducing targets during missions.

 _Ooohs_ and _Aaahs_ from the crowd. Eggsy fans his flushed face with his cap to the delight of his fellow students.

Before Eggsy can come up with another saucy retort, Harry abruptly switches gears and reverts to his normal, dry tone. 

"You were all given quite a hefty reading assignment this past weekend," Harry says, " _Guns, Germs, and Steel_. Eggsy, why don't you remind us all what the fundamental question is in Mr. Diamond's oeuvre, what conclusion he came to after four hundred odd pages, and since you're so eager to impress, provide us with your personal exegesis of the evidence the author presents in defense of his arguments."

"It's all about the human condition, innit?" Eggsy replies almost immediately, "He was arguin' that people's histories differ from one continent to another, not 'cuz of inherent, biological differences between human beings, but like, differences in their environment. Y'know, weather, how fertile the land is, available natural resources, stuff like that.

"Some folks like to apply certain theories to an entire race of people to explain a sort of innate biological inferiority, even though it ain't ever been proven scientifically - like, oh their skulls are shaped different, or their skin is real dark, or their noses ain't long 'n sharp. This bloke Diamond challenges that same attitude, but looks at it from a historical perspective, yeah?

"The author went all the way back to caveman era and researched indigenous people from every continent spanning thousands of years, but I think if he'd 'a done an equivalent study on a smaller subset of people, he coulda come to a similar conclusion. 'cept maybe in a more modern setting he woulda looked at things like economic advantages instead of, I dunno, how easily you could grow crops."

It takes a minute or two for Harry to digest Eggsy's long-winded reply.

"Well, you're full of surprises," Harry says finally with an approving nod, "Very good. Well done, Eggsy." 

Eggsy beams at him and shifts happily in his seat. Harry smiles inwardly. He's always been partial to young men who get off on his praise.

"Oh spare me," Charlie mutters, miming a gun to his head with his fingers.

"Speakin' of product of one's environment," Eggsy says dryly and cocks his head in Charlie's direction, which earns him a few snorts and giggles.

"Hmph."

"To be honest with you all," Harry says, "now that Eggsy has summarized the book so succinctly, I'm not inclined to spend more than a couple of classes discussing its finer points."

Roxy clears her throat. "Dr. Rosen is a bit of a stickler when it comes to following the syllabus, Professor Hart."

"I won't tell him if you won't," Harry says in a lightly teasing tone, "and he's currently knee-deep in dirty diapers and can't be bothered to check in on you lot. How about this - I propose, instead of re-hashing all of the arguments the author so painstakingly put together, we attempt to fill in the gaps? Did any of you find anything missing or particularly lacking in his argument, or in the book as a whole?"

"An interesting, engaging writing style!" someone shouts from the back row.

Harry chuckles. "Quite so. Nothing we can do about that, I'm afraid. Your name, young man?"

"Jamal, sir."

"Anyone else?"

"Personally I would have liked to see the author put up a stronger defense against possible counter-arguments," Roxy offers, "Something to refute what an anthropologist or a biologist would have to say, for example."

"Yes, very astute observation, Roxy," Harry says, "It's quite obvious that the author is not an anthropologist. We can certainly use that as a starting point to debate the merits of his methodology when proving his hypothesis."

Harry pauses in his pacing to lean casually against his desk. "Let me tell you what I found lacking in the text. Ironically enough, it's the first word in the title - _guns!!_ Where are all the guns?! Give me more guns!"

Harry's apparent enthusiasm for weaponry, at odds with his polished appearance, comes as a surprise to his students, who are unaware of his Kingsman knighthood.

"I find it all so fascinating, and there's certainly no dearth of material," Harry continues, "Colonialism - Europeans decimating swathes of indigenous tribes with the use of firearms a hundred times more destructive than the natives' hand-crafted stone and steel weapons. The Cold War - the arms race, which went hand-in-hand with enormous leaps forward in space technology. And we can't go a day without hearing about ISIS - who are fighting with weapons supplied by the US to the Iraqi army! I could go on and on and on."

"Then, after we've put back the guns in _Guns, Germs, and Steel_ , I'd like to move on quickly and spend the remainder of the term studying the Arab Spring," he says in a more subdued tone, "Follow its roots from World War Two, discuss its ramifications in the current global political climate, and understand your personal responsibility, one, as British citizens and future leaders and policy makers, and two, as fellow human beings with regard to the refugee and humanitarian crises. Now I know many of you chose this particular college for your interest in politics, so I think this addition to your coursework is more than justified."

Harry's half expecting a gentle reminder from Roxy to stick to the syllabus, but instead her eyes gleam with interest.

"Are there any objections to the change in syllabus?"

Harry can see a couple of students hesitantly preparing to argue, so he adds quickly, "Actually, I don't give a shit, I'm going to do it regardless."

The students laugh, delighted with Harry's irreverence. 

"I'll upload the new syllabus tonight. Shall we begin?"

 

♚ ♚ ♚

 

Harry realizes at the conclusion of his first class that he can't bullshit his way through the lessons as he had originally intended. His plan of hunkering down in his office for a few hours to work on lesson plans is waylaid by a throng of admiring students (minus one Eggsy Unwin, who left immediately after class with Roxy with one last pining look at Harry), eager to get to know the new professor. 

They walk him to his office, invite him for coffee and drinks and sex outright. Harry's had to make some adjustments in his interactions with the students; prior to this mission his two modes of social communication were seducing for the purposes of extracting information, and one-upping his fellow knights in the sarcasm department. But he enjoys their company immensely, and their youthful exuberance slowly chips away at the bitterness which grows inside him with every mission in which he witnesses the depths of human depravity.   

Harry could easily bask in the attention all day, but he does have some investigative work to do. 

Kingsman had first been alerted to Gazelle Norman's research via transmission through knight Lancelot's spyglasses. Sadly, it turned out to be his last transmission shortly before his death in the snowy mountains of Argentina. It was the one clue he left behind concerning his mysterious final mission.

Merlin and his team quickly traced Gazelle to the college and put together a dossier, focusing on her research interests and, more notably, her close connection to tech billionaire Richmond Valentine. Galahad was then assigned to pick up where Lancelot left off.

It's late in the afternoon by the time Harry leaves his office to do reconnaissance. He needs a plausible reason to be wandering around the science building in case he runs into one of his students, or even Gazelle herself; fortunately a recent craze in gaming provides him with exactly that - a viable excuse at the ready.

Harry smirks as he takes out his phone and launches the app before commencing his tour of the building.

He sees nothing out of the ordinary, assuming it's 'ordinary' for colleges to have state-of-the-art computer and robotics labs, the latest in test and monitoring equipment, and smart classrooms equipped with high-definition displays and touchscreens. Apparently Valentine's generosity to the University knew no bounds.

Harry hits a snag down in the basement and subcellar. Unlike the open spaces and classrooms above ground, the doors on these floors are outfitted with biometric scanners, and the walls are plastered with  _For Authorized Personnel Only_ signs.

"Bit of an overkill," Harry mutters to himself, "What is this, Area 51 in the middle of London?"

He notices that there are no security cameras in the basement levels, whereas there are several in conspicuous locations all throughout the main part of the building. 

Finding nothing but dead ends and without sufficient evidence to justify hacking his way into the rooms, Harry exits the building and does a circuit around the perimeter.

It's by the loading dock that Harry catches his first glimpse of Gazelle. Menacing prosthetics aside, she looks relatively harmless as she efficiently directs two workers as they unload several small boxes from the back of a lorry.

Not wishing to make Gazelle's acquaintance just yet, Harry stays out of her line of sight. He fiddles with his phone screen periodically to keep up appearances while he uses his glasses to take photos and closeups for later review. Unfortunately both the lorry and the boxes bear no identifying marks, but someone at HQ might discover something in the details.

Satisfied he's done all he can for today, Harry concludes his first surveillance session. He unlocks his phone and starts playing the game in earnest while he walks in the direction of the faculty car park.

He gets so caught up in the action on his phone screen that he narrowly avoids smacking into a tree. Shaking his head at his own stupidity, Harry spins around just in time and pirouettes straight into - Eggsy.

Eggsy still has that starstruck look about him, but he's a little more bashful, a little less cocky than he was in class, confirming Harry's suspicions that Eggsy's bravado is mostly an act to entertain his fellow classmates.

"Oh! Hello, Eggsy."

Merlin chooses this inopportune moment to check in on Harry's progress.

"Mr. Hart!" Eggsy catches sight of Harry's phone screen and breaks into a wide grin. "You're playing Pokémon Go?!"

"Pokémon Go? What's going on, Galahad? And who the hell is that?!" Merlin demands, his Scottish brogue becoming increasingly pronounced, "Did we not just have this conversation, Galahad, or did you mistake my warning for a challenge, yet again?" 

Harry resolutely ignores Merlin's indignant squawking in his ear.

"Yes, Eggsy," Harry says sheepishly, "I was chasing a Charmander, in fact."

"Unbelievable," Merlin mutters incredulously. "You are impossible, Galahad! And what on earth is that boy wearing? Did he purchase that jacket with PokéCoins?"

Harry grits his teeth.

Eggsy tilts his chin up at Harry. "What level you at, Professor?"

"Well to be honest, Eggsy, it's taken me forever to get to level nineteen." Mostly because, Harry neglects to mention, he's only interested in catching Caterpies so that he can eventually evolve them into cute little weaponized Butterfrees.

Eggsy looks impressed. "Thas pretty good, Mr. Hart! Hey, you seen any Bulbasaurs around?"

"Which ones are those again?"

Merlin snorts in Harry's ear.

"Y'know, green critters with them -" Eggsy turns around and wiggles his bum, "garlic butts?" 

Harry chuckles. Merlin makes a choking noise.

"No, my dear boy," Harry says before he can catch himself. He's rewarded by a lovely blush which he follows greedily from the tip of Eggsy's nose down to the dip in his throat. "I'm afraid I've not seen those, not around here anyway."

Eggsy gives him a lascivious grin. "And what about where you live, Mr. Hart?" he asks, poking him playfully in the stomach, "Any Pokémon I can chase in your bedroom?"

"Hah, that explains it!" Merlin exclaims triumphantly, "Clearly the boy is chatting you up solely for your home's proximity to Bulbasaur spawn sites!"

"It would be highly inappropriate for a professor to take a student home, Eggsy, and you'd be wise to remember that for the duration of your college career."

Eggsy pouts. "But 'm so close to evolvin' one!"

"No, Eggsy," Harry says sternly, but damn if that puppy face isn't the hardest thing to resist since Mr. Pickle's.

"S'alright," Eggsy finally relents, "I don't really like evolvin' 'em anyway, they're much cuter when they ain't."

"Mmm yes," Harry murmurs, barely able to stop himself from cupping Eggsy's chin, "they certainly are, aren't they? Cute, fresh, and full of potential."

"Oh for fuck's sake," Merlin grumbles.

Emboldened by Harry's reaction, Eggsy presses on, "How 'bout a drink, then, Professor? There's a pub a few streets down, I just have a bit o' business in the science building. I'm signin' up for one of Gazelle Norman's clinical studies, then I'm free for the rest of the afternoon." He spreads his arms out invitingly, "I am all yours, Mr. Hart!"

"I don't think a drink is -" Harry pauses. "Pardon, what did you say, Eggsy? A study with Gazelle Norman?"

"You've heard of Gazelle, yeah? 'Course you have, everyone has. Fuckin' genius, she is, won the Valentine scholarship grant and all. There's an open call for a study she's doin' for her research. It's only a couple of hours each week but they're offerin' a huge stipend for your time. I could drop one of me side jobs, that's how much they pay!"

Harry furrows his brow. He's certain Merlin can hear the cogs in his mind turning. "On second thought, Eggsy, I will take you up on that offer. Not to the pub, mind, but a coffee, perhaps, or afternoon tea?"

_It's for the mission, Merlin._

Harry almost regrets his offer of caffeine as he endures Eggsy bouncing excitedly beside him on their way to the café.

"So, Eggsy, history and political science," Harry remarks as soon as they've settled into a pair of weathered leather armchairs in the student-run café, mugs of coffee in hand.

"Blerrrggh," Eggsy mutters and slumps so far into the chair Harry fears for his spine.

"They're admirable pursuits," Harry says encouragingly.

"To be honest, Mr. Hart, I ain't got a fuckin' clue," Eggsy says. "At one point I wanted to be a vet, but five, six years of school? I ain't got the time, nor the money, plus all that maths and science - not for me, guv. Then I was thinkin' about law, which isn't quick, or cheap neither. Family law, y'know? I want to help people like - well, let's just say I didn't have the easiest time growin' up after me dad died. It was too late by the time I came 'round to choosin' a college, but Roxy says I can take a conversion course after my BA if I still wanted to pursue law."

Harry nods. "It's certainly not unusual. I don't know how people in their twenties are expected to know what they want to do for the rest of their lives."

"I was in the Marines for a time too," Eggsy says quietly.

"Is that right?"

"Yeah. Was doin' real well too, top of the class, but fuckin' Dean -" Eggsy sighs glumly, "my stepdad, total arsehole... long story short, I had to quit for my ma's sake."

"Family is important," Harry says vaguely, not wishing to overstep.

Eggsy brightens. "Yeah, mum's real proud of me, and my little sister Daisy, she's my best girl!" He scrolls through his phone and shows pictures of her to Harry.

"How 'bout you, guv? Any family?" Eggsy asks, glancing pointedly at the lack of a wedding ring on Harry's right hand.

"No, not for me, I'm afraid," Harry says. "I just have teaching, and occasionally I lend a hand in a little tailor shop on Savile Row. I'm sure it must sound terribly boring to a young man such as yourself."

"Surprising, that. You're fit as fuck, Mr. Hart! Maybe you was just waitin' for me to come along, yeah?"

Harry rolls his eyes but gives Eggsy a fond look. "You have a lot going for yourself, Eggsy, though you seem loathe to admit it. Which is why," he teases, "I don't understand why you're wasting your efforts on an old man like me. What on earth do you see in me?"

 

♚ ♚ ♚

 

"He said he likes me for my sense of humor, and how I quote-unquote 'talk and dress all posh then a second later I'm swearing like a sailor and chasing Pokémon'," Harry whines to Merlin when they're sat in the same exact set of armchairs in the café the following morning.

Merlin gives his friend a long-suffering sigh. "There are worse things to be admired for than a sense of humor, Harry."

"Yes, but I used to be desirable for my looks and charm."

The two friends look at each other and burst out laughing.

"You are so full of shit, Harry," Merlin says fondly.

After a moment of companionable silence, Merlin puts down his espresso cup and turns to Harry. "Did you actually talk about Gazelle's project, or were you sufficiently distracted by your nubile young Pokémon trainer?"

"O ye, of little faith!" Harry replies, "Yes, I did ask Eggsy about it. Unfortunately he knows very little. His friend Ryan - he's in my history class as well - participated in the previous round of studies. He came out none the worse for wear, but he doesn't remember any actual details of what went on during those sessions."

"Hmm, that's not exactly reassuring. What's your impression?"

Harry frowns. "I did express some concern, Gazelle's specialty is neuroscience after all, but Eggsy assured me no one's been harmed."

"I did look into it after you reported in last night," Merlin says, "and it's true, no deaths or tragedies or anything of the sort. The only side effects students have mentioned are feeling exhausted immediately after whatever procedure is involved, and tinnitus which goes away after a few days. Nothing disturbing enough to turn down the extremely generous stipend, apparently."

"What I don't understand is, Richmond Valentine has laboratories and research facilities all over the world. There's no reason to conduct a study through a college, he could have set up a proper trial."

"Well think about it, Harry," Merlin says, "It takes years and mountains of paperwork for pharmaceutical companies to get approval for clinical trials. Research universities do these studies all the time - do you recall the infamous Stanford Prison Experiment? Students are so desperate for income they’ll willingly sign off on anything for a bit of cash. Easy cash, most of the time, since these things are usually survey- or behavioral-type studies with no drugs involved.”

"I did ask Eggsy if Ryan remembers ingesting anything or being stuck with a needle, but he said not to his knowledge. He also said the sessions were brief, Ryan was in and out of there in under an hour."

"And there you have it," Merlin says, "Easy money." He stuffs his face with the homemade danish Harry had raved about yesterday and the sole reason the two are meeting in such a conspicuous location.

Harry sighs. "I'm going to have to plant a bug on Eggsy, aren't I?"

"I'm afraid so, Harry. This is our only lead on this case. I don't see how we can hide a camera on Eggsy without his knowledge, but an audio bug is easy enough. Completely untraceable, of course." Seeing his friend's despondent face, Merlin adds, "We've improved the dermal bugs as well, in case he loses his clothes at some point, so at the very least you'll have an excuse to get your paws on him."

Harry gives him a small smile. "You always have my best interests at heart, don't you, Merlin?"

"I'll kit you out over the weekend," Merlin says, "Thursday next, yes?"

"Yes, his first session is Thursday. We have class that day, coincidentally."

"Good. That's settled then."

"We must get to the bottom of this, for Lancelot's sake," Harry says quietly, "James's death will not be in vain."

They have a moment of silence for the fallen knight, whose charisma and upbeat personality made him a favorite at Kingsman.

"Speaking of," Merlin says, "You only have a couple of months left until the trials begin. Will you be trolling army enlistments for a candidate?"

"Believe it or not, I have someone in mind," Harry replies thoughtfully.

Merlin raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Huh, good on you. You and Percival. He has a candidate lined up as well, very excited about it, but he refuses to spill any details. He seems to think Arthur wouldn't approve of his choice."

"That makes two of us," Harry says with a smirk, imagining the look on Arthur's face if he ever saw Eggsy in his snapbacks and track jackets.

"Now I'm really looking forward to the trials!"

"Actually, Merlin, while you're here, shall we pop 'round to the science building and you can have a look, see if you catch anything I may have missed?"

"Yes, good idea."

They exit the café and walk toward the quad. Harry points out the history building to Merlin. The science building needs no such introduction - it dwarfs everything around it, its gleaming white surface screaming money and importance.

As they make their way across the quad, reminiscing about their time at Cambridge together, Harry hears someone call out "Professor Hart!"

He turns around and catches sight of Roxy waving to him. He motions for Merlin to stop.

Roxy stands up from where she'd been idling on the grass and brushes the stray leaves off her skirt before approaching them.

Harry feels Merlin tense up next to him and shoots him a quizzical look.

"Hello, Roxy."

"Good morning, Professor Hart," she says brightly. She turns to Merlin and gives him a bold, appraising look. "And you are?"

"Oh, how rude of me!" Harry says with a mishievous glint in his eye. He's finally caught on to what's made the usually unflappable Merlin suddenly tongue-tied. "This is my friend Mark. He was in the area, we've just been to the café."

"It's a pleasure," Roxy says as they shake hands. Merlin gives her a curt nod but remains silent under her steady gaze. Eventually she takes pity on him and turns to Harry. "And what are you two up to this morning? Enjoying this rare sunny day?"

Harry says nothing, hoping to force his friend into the witty banter so natural to him.

"We're... chasing Charmanders!" is the unfortunate thing Merlin blurts out instead.

Next to him Harry has a coughing fit.

Roxy's mouth twitches at the corners. "Oh? You'll probably have better luck near the science building."

"I caught one there just yesterday!" Harry says. "I've been meaning to show Mark around. He's quite interested in architecture, isn't that right, Mark?"

Merlin makes a stranged noise of assent.

"The University's very proud of the building," Roxy intercepts smoothly, "It was designed by the late Zaha Hadid's protégé so it's garnered a lot of press. Would you like a tour? I'm double-majoring in mechanical engineering so I spend quite a lot of time in the building."

"What a fantastic idea! Unfortunately I have some notes to go over before class, but Mark is free," Harry says enthusiastically, fussing over Merlin and completely ignoring his friend's pleading look, "You two go on without me. Mark, we'll be in touch, and Roxy, I'll see you in class this afternoon. Bye!"

Harry takes his leave with a gleeful wave. He practically skips to his office where he promptly shuts the door and has a good, long laugh at his friend's expense.

 

♚ ♚ ♚

 

Contrary to popular belief, Harry isn't intentionally late to everything. He does make an effort to be punctual. Most of the time. Well, at least half of the time.

Today, for example, he would have been on time for his class had not a homegrown extremist who slipped past MI-5's (but not Kingsman's) radar decided that a Brexit protest would be the perfect stage for planting a bomb. Galahad was called to action to diffuse the situation with as little fanfare as possible for the sake of his countrymen, who are already on edge from the recent spate of tragedies in neighboring France.

So it's not his fault that Harry's currently in his office at the college, five minutes late to class, frantically divesting himself of his holster, which he hides underneath a coat on a rack, and his gun, which he shoves out of sight in a drawer. He had opted for a single-breasted suit today and in his muddled state of switching personas from James Bond to University Professor he doesn't trust himself not to accidentally reveal his firearm to his students; that's one scenario he can't talk his way out of without getting too close to the truth.

He's a bit of a sweaty mess after chasing the bomber through the streets of London, subduing him, then sprinting to the University as soon as the Kingsman cleanup crew arrived, so he says "Fuck it!" and takes off his tie and leaves a couple of shirt buttons undone. Less coiffed than usual but feeling much cooler, Harry jogs over to his classroom.

Eggsy's unmistakable accent greets him as soon as he sets foot inside the classroom. "Bloody hell, you are killin' me!" Eggsy says, miming a dagger to his chest. "Your hair's curly!"

"Ah, ah! Wavy, not curly," Harry corrects him as he strides quickly toward his desk.

Harry looks up and does a double-take.

Eggsy looks good. Very, _very_ good.

Gone are the gaudy track jackets and flashy trainers. In their place is a dressier version of his customary polo shirt, slim cut dark jeans, and a very smart looking pinstriped blazer. High street no doubt, Harry thinks, perhaps Topman or Zara, but despite his own closet full of bespoke suits, Harry has always held the opinion that young people don't need to spend thousands of dollars on clothes; no amount of money can buy the type of beauty that comes with simply being young.

Eggsy's staring at him expectantly, head held high proudly, but Harry can see how anxious he is to please.

"You look fantastic, Eggsy!" Harry says, giving him a warm smile, "Hot date tonight?"

"Just give me the time and place, Professor Hart," Eggsy replies with a wink, relaxed and cocky once again now that Harry's given his approval.

"Can we just get on with it?" Charlie complains, "You're already ten minutes late to class. Sir."

"I do apologize. And you look very nice today as well, Charlie," Harry says sweetly.

Charlie grunts but appears mollified for the time being.

Harry clears his throat to signal the beginning of class. "Right then, shall we begin with - oh bollocks!" he exclaims suddenly, clutching his forehead, "I've left my briefcase in my office."

Harry could probably get through class without his notes but the audio bugs he'll be planting on Eggsy for his first session with Gazelle later this afternoon are in his briefcase as well.

"I'll get it, Professor Hart!" Eggsy's out of his chair before Harry can protest, so he merely shrugs and resumes the lesson.

Harry's in the middle of embellishing the history of Great Britain's post-WWII withdrawal of financial support to the royalist government in Greece, a direct precursor to the Truman Doctrine, with a first hand account from the former Tristan (all references to Kingsman redacted, naturally), when Eggsy returns with Harry's briefcase.

Eggsy looks remarkably grim considering the trivial nature of his task. He sets Harry's briefcase down on his desk without meeting his eye and walks stiff-backed to his chair.

Harry attempts to engage Eggsy in the discussion for the remainder of class, without any luck. There are more than enough capable students to pick up the slack, but despite the stimulating debate, Harry's left feeling disappointed and worried that he's done something wrong. What that could possibly be, he has no idea.

Eggsy stands up as soon as class is dismissed. He glares at Harry until their eyes meet, tips his head toward the door, and leaves without looking behind him to see if Harry will follow.

With his long strides, it doesn't take Harry long to catch up to Eggsy in the hallway.

"Eggsy!" Harry calls out, "Is everything alright?" He reaches out to tug gently on Eggsy's arm and stealthily plasters an audio bug on his sleeve.

Eggsy whirls around to face Harry, his jaw set in a grim line. He steps up close so as not to be overheard by passersby. "I saw the fuckin' gun in your drawer, Mr. Hart. And it was loaded!"

Harry's caught completely off guard but he recovers quickly. "Eggsy, I can explain -"

Eggsy puts up a hand to shut him up. Harry's a bit turned on by that, but there's a time and a place for flirting, and this is decidedly not it.

"This better be fuckin' good, Mr. Hart," Eggsy snaps, "'Cos I can think of only two reasons why a bloke would bring a loaded gun to school. Now it's a small pistol, I don't recognize the make, it has a weird double barrel thing - okay, not important! Point is, I don't think, at least I hope you ain't about to empty a few rounds into a room full of students."

"The second possible scenario...," Eggsy falters and takes a deep breath to steady himself, "Now listen, Mr. Hart, I know everyone gets lonely, and trust me, I know life is shit sometimes, but if you're thinkin' of taking matters into your own hands... god, I'm sorry, I'm total shite at this! I want you to know that I'm here for you, Mr. Hart. You ain't alone, and whatever's making you sad I'm sure we can work on it together. Just... please, Mr. Hart, don't harm yourself."

Feeling rather pathetic at being regarded as a lonely old man on the verge of offing himself, Harry nonetheless feels a sharp tug at his heartstrings which he hasn't felt in a very long time.

"Oh, Eggsy," Harry says softly, cupping the side of Eggsy's face, his fingers long enough to reach around and stick one of Merlin's dermal bugs to the back of his neck, "I will explain everything to you in due course, you have my word. For now, all I can tell you is that the gun is for protection, and I have absolutely no intention of harming myself or anyone innocent."

Eggsy narrows his eyes into slits. "Why can't you explain things to me now?" he demands, "You a copper or somethin'?"

"Not exactly. You're not in trouble, Eggsy," Harry adds quickly after seeing alarm written on Eggsy's face, "on the contrary, there may be a job interview in it for you when this is all over."

Eggsy looks thoroughly confused, which Harry considers an improvement over sad Eggsy.

They stare at each other for a while. Whatever assurance Eggsy is seeking in Harry's eyes must be sufficient, because he crosses his arms over his chest and says, "Promise me you won't do nothin' stupid, Mr. Hart."

"Define stupid."

"Mr. Hart!!" Eggsy growls, clearly frustrated at Harry's ill-timed attempt at lightening the mood.

Harry sighs. "Forgive me, Eggsy. I promise you that if I get hurt, it will not be by my own hand." Harry knows it's weak, but it's the best he can do without making a promise he can't keep.

Eggsy looks somewhat placated. "I took the bullets out, Professor. I woulda taken the gun too but it won't do neither of us any good if I end up in jail."

"Thank you, Eggsy," Harry says sincerely. He reaches out and takes Eggsy's hand between both of his, planting a third bug for good measure. "Are we okay, Eggsy? Will you let me know how your session with Gazelle goes?"

Eggsy sniffles. "Yeah, alright."

With a final warning glare and a quick tug of his jacket, Eggsy shuffles off toward the science building.

Harry leans his head back against the wall and exhales.

Eggsy's left him feeling rattled and off-kilter. It's been a long time since anyone showed such vehement concern for his well-being. Merlin's brisk "Don't die, Harry" before every mission doesn't quite have the same effect after hundreds of missions together, although he has no doubt of Merlin's sincerity.

Harry saves the brooding for another day and taps his glasses to report in.

"Merlin, I've planted the bugs. One on his jacket and two directly on his skin."

"Very good, Galahad. Hang on just a second... Alright, they've all gone live, with clear reception. I'll have someone monitor the feeds right now."

"Were you able to access the building surveillance? Or were you sufficiently distracted by your nubile young double-major?" Harry asks in perfect mimicry of Merlin last week.

"Oi! Don't be an arse," Merlin replies, "It's been quiet since we hacked into the cameras and security feeds. Nothing of note over the weekend. No deliveries, no suspicious persons entering or leaving the building, and of course you're already aware that there are no cameras in Gazelle's research laboratories. None that we can hack into, anyway."

Harry tuts in frustration.

"Eggsy's audio will be helpful, Galahad, I'm sure of it," Merlin assures him, "Something's bound to come out of the woodwork sooner or later."

"Let's hope," Harry says, "otherwise we've hit a dead end. I'll be in my office here in the college for the next few hours, I'd like to stay close if anything goes awry with Eggsy."

"Understood, Galahad. We'll patch you through as soon as his session starts. Oh, and bring me some of those danishes from the caff if you drop by the shop this evening, would you?"

 

♚ ♚ ♚

 

"Showtime, Galahad."

"Patch me through, Merlin."

-

_ _

_"Hello, Gary."_

_"Hullo, Miss Norman. Nice to meet ya, you're famous 'round 'ere! And I go by Eggsy, by the way, no one ever calls me Gary."_

_"In that case, Eggsy, please call me Gazelle. It's just a silly nickname but I quite like it."_

_"Suits you, yeah? What with your... y'know. Those are_ sick _, by the way, they look like blades, innit?"_

_"It's actually the spring action where I got the nickname from, but thank you, Eggsy. Now before we begin, I just want to give you some background on my research, just a short introduction."_

_"Give me the dummy version, yeah? Hehe."_

_"Without going into too much detail - I don't want to bore you! - I've been studying sound waves and how we can use them to access the brain through the skull, all the way down to the cellular level. It's quite complicated, but it has very far-reaching ramifications for the treatment of brain disorders, and also the field of brain surgery."_

_"[Whistles] You are a fucking legend, Gazelle. Glad I could help a little, yeah?"_

_"Aww, thanks Eggsy. I do love my work. And thank you so much for participating."_

_-_

"Thoughts so far, Merlin?"

"To be honest it all sounds innocuous at the moment, Galahad. And she isn't the first to come up with the concept, although the technology is still rather new. I've read similar studies in scientific journals and the like."

_-_

_"Now, Eggsy, what you'll be doing today is helping us test the range, the effective distance of the sound wave. Here - have a look at this little device, it's the transmitter for the sound wave. It's just a prototype at the moment."_

_"Kind of looks like a phone, yeah?"_

_"Yes, in fact one of our goals was to fit all of the technology into a very small package. It wasn't easy - tons of innovation in that little device! So we'll start off with the device all the way at the far end of the room, over there. We'll move it closer to you until we get some sort of reaction when I turn on the signal. Now people react in different ways, but it won't hurt at all. Some people faint or black out for a few seconds, totally normal and nothing to worry about. This was all explained in detail in the sign off form, if you recall."_

_"Um, right, of course. Me mate Ryan's done the previous round of studies, he said he fell off the chair a couple of times."_

_"Yes, exactly, like I said, people have different reactions, but it's all very safe. Now, Eggsy, I'd like you to meet Jack."_

_"Whoa, big guy!"_

_"Good afternoon, Eggsy, and Miss Norman."_

_"Don't let him fool you, Eggsy, he's a teddy bear inside. Jack has medical training but don't worry, you won't need him for that! He's just here to keep an eye on things, mandatory safety protocols, you understand. He'll be out of the way, behind these thick bars here, just observing. And we've designed special head gear for him to isolate him from the signal, since it's your reaction we'll be recording."_

_"Gotcha."_

_"I'll also keep an eye on things obviously, but the controls are all the way over there. I'll be monitoring everything, nothing will go wrong, I assure you."_

_-_

"She's quite adamant that nothing will go wrong, isn't she? She keeps repeating it."

"Yes, I caught that too, Merlin. Still, nothing overtly malicious thus far."

-

_"Any questions before we begin, Eggsy?"_

_"So I just sit here, yeah?"_

_"Yes. You may hear a high-pitched noise or a faint buzzing, and some people hear nothing at all."_

_"Alright."_

_"Let's get started."_

_._

_._

_._

_"The signal is on."_

_"Hmm, nothin', Gazelle, no buzzin', no noise."_

_"That's perfectly alright, Eggsy, we are testing the range after all. Let's just move the device a few meters closer to you and see if we get a reaction. Are you ready?"_

_"Yep."_

_._

_._

_._

_[low growling noise]_

_“YOU FUCKING FUCK, I’LL RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!!”_

_"Jack, move closer to the bars, taunt him a little, but don't let him get his hands on you - this one's a feisty one!"_

_"Yes, ma'am."_

_“GET OVER HERE! YOU’RE DEAD! YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD! WAIT TIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU GIANT FUCK, GAAAAHHHH!”_

_-_

"What the hell is going on?!" 

"Good lord, it sounds like Eggsy's picked up the chair and is attempting to smash through the bars to get to Jack in order to - what, maim him? Tear him limb from limb?!"

"Shit. Merlin, I'm going in."

"Galahad, wait! Stand down."

.

.

.

"How strange..."

"Well it certainly sounds like Eggsy's murderous tantrum has ended, just as quickly as it began."

-

_"Signal off."_

.

.

.

_"Mmrph. Wot...?"_

_"Welcome back, Eggsy! You blanked out there for a minute."_

_"Wha' happened? Why am I..."_

_"What do you remember, Eggsy?"_

_"I remember fuck all, Gazelle, one minute I was jus' sittin' 'ere, the next I'm on me arse and the chair's all the way over there by the bars - the fuck?"_

_"As long as you feel okay, Eggsy, I wouldn't worry about the memory gap. You simply attempted to move away from the signal before blacking out, that's all."_

-

"Well, it's obvious she's hiding something."

"To blatantly lie to his face, I mean he was ready to kill someone!"

"Indiscriminately, I might add, I don't think it would have mattered who was in the room with him. Galahad, next time you speak with Eggsy, confirm whether or not he's met Jack prior to this incident."

"Will do, Merlin. I hope this is the end of this bloody session."

-

_"How are you feeling, Eggsy?"_

_"It's weird like, I used to do gymnastics, yeah? And after a routine, after the dismount, all that adrenaline starts seepin' outta you and you're just real exhausted."_

_"So other than fatigue, which I'm sure will sort itself out by tomorrow, you seem fine. Jack will check you for signs of concussion, but it's merely protocol, you never actually hit your head on anything. And then we're done for the day, okay?"_

_"Thas it?"_

_"Not bad, right?"_

♚ ♚ ♚

 

The knights have gathered in the dining room of the tailor shop to discuss Galahad's latest intelligence on the former Lancelot's last mission. A few of the knights are checking in via hologram, but most are in London, seeking out candidates in preparation for the upcoming Lancelot trials. 

"Is Arthur not joining us?" Percival asks, "He's missed several meetings of late."

"Yes, he's been distracted by something which even I am not privy to," Merlin replies. "He's held a few closed-door meetings as well, which he requested be kept private."

"Perhaps he's contemplating retirement."

Merlin shrugs. "I don't think so, but I can't be sure. In any case I trust he'll let us know if and when he deems necessary."

Harry walks into the dining room.

"Late again, Galahad."

Harry glances at his watch and feigns surprise. Merlin rolls his eyes.

"I've brought everyone up to date on the situation, Galahad, including what we learned from Eggsy's audio surveillance," Merlin tells Harry. "Everyone except Arthur, that is, he won't be joining us today."

Harry frowns. "Again? What on earth is that old codger up to?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, Galahad. And as I was saying to everyone just before you walked in, as the head of Kingsman, Arthur's entitled to his secrets," Merlin says, his tone brooking no argument. "I'll brief him on our meeting later. Now, onto the business at hand. Have you spoken to Eggsy recently, Galahad? How is he?"

"Overall he seems unaffected by Gazelle's device, exhibiting no ill effects from that spontaneous tantrum," Harry replies, "but he really has no idea that he'd gone on that rampage and tried to kill Jack, whom he has no prior history with."

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Kay says, "but essentially Gazelle has invented an on/off switch for extremely violent behavior?"

"As frightening as that sounds, that's exactly what she's done," Merlin says, "She's managed to produce and target a sound wave from a device the size of a cell phone, at the exact frequency needed to manipulate that particular area of the brain."

"Bloody hell! Surely MI-5 should be brought in to deal with this?"

"I've contacted them already. Unfortunately until there's a direct threat to the citizens of Britain, they suggest we leave Gazelle alone. In fact they implied that we're doing more harm than good meddling with her research, which they expressed a very strong interest in."

"I can't blame them," Harry says, "I'm sure the government would love to get their hands on Gazelle's invention, and it doesn't hurt that they didn't spend a dime on such an important discovery, as it's all been funded by Richmond Valentine." 

"I do see where MI-5's coming from, and I would even be inclined to agree were it not for the fact that it was James' last transmission," Percival says quietly, "Obviously he couldn't have known it would be his last message. The urgency with which he wanted us to look into Gazelle suggests there's something bigger at play here."

"I completely agree," Merlin says. "So, barring major developments, Galahad will continue to monitor Gazelle via his cover at the college - it's probably best to finish off the term at this point anyway. We'll continue to plant bugs on Eggsy during his sessions, and Galahad will be on hand should anything go wrong. In the meantime, the rest of us can work the Richmond Valentine connection. Keep your eyes and ears open for any news concerning Valentine - major announcements, press conferences, etc., as well as any tidbits through the grapevine from people in the technology sector. Does anyone have anything else to add?"

The knights shake their heads.

"That's all for now, then," Merlin says, "Dismissed."

Kay sighs as he stands up to take his leave. "So what's new, eh? As we've been doing for centuries, we'll be there to pick up the slack when things inevitably go to shit because MI-5 let someone slip through their incompetent fingers!"

 

♚ ♚ ♚  
_[2 months later]_  

 

Harry's in his office, now Dr. Rosen's office once again, packing up the few things he'd contributed to the general clutter over the past three months. Uncovering the mysteries of Lancelot's mission is ongoing, but only final history papers are left to be graded before Harry sheds his cover for good.

He'll miss teaching and he'll miss his students, more than he thought possible when he first started. He's counting on Kingsman to keep him busy enough to leave little room for moping, because honestly Harry doesn't have much else.

Harry slumps in his chair. Maybe he is a lonely, pathetic old man.

There's a knock on the door and Harry looks up to see Eggsy poking his head in. In an instant, the fog over Harry's mood lifts.

"Ah, Eggsy! Thank you for dropping by, there's something I wanted to discuss with you."

"I ain't lettin' you go that easy, guv," Eggsy teases, "didn't think you'd leave without saying goodbye."

"This is hardly goodbye, Eggsy. In fact -" Harry stops mid-sentence when he registers what Eggsy's wearing. The jeans, polo shirt, and track jacket he's come to expect from Eggsy, but this time there's the unfortunate addition of the most atrocious pair of trainers Harry has ever laid eyes on.

He squints to take in the details. Wings? Why are the lines pixelated? Was that intentional, or a careless mistake by the graphic designer? 

"Oi, Mr. Hart, are you even listenin'?" Eggsy shakes his head. "Y'know, I practiced this whole speech 'bout wantin' to see you over the summer and how, now that you ain't my professor, we can finally get on with the shagging bit, yeah?"

Eggsy drones on but Harry can't get past those dreadful trainers.

 _Well_ , he tells himself, _needs must_. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Those shoes simply _must_  come off.  

"Eggsy," Harry says sharply, "Stop talking."

Eggsy stares at him, mouth agape.

Harry sheds his jacket and hangs it carefully on the back of the chair. He remains standing and with slow, exaggerated movements, begins to unclasp his cufflinks.

Eggsy gasps.

"Lock the door, please, Eggsy."

Eggsy's at the door and back as swiftly as a Pokémon escapes from a Pokéball. He stands in front of the desk, unconsciously at parade rest, Harry notes. Must be Harry's commanding tone.

"First things first. H-A-R-R-Y," Harry spells out slowly, enunciating each letter as Eggsy had done the first time they met. He lowers his voice a few octaves. "That's the name you'll be shouting in a few minutes."

Eggsy makes a soft whining noise and vibrates with excitement.

"Now, take off your clothes."

Eggsy makes a move to strip off his jacket.

"No, Eggsy."

Eggsy freezes.

"Start with... those shoes."

 

♚ ♚ ♚

 

"Ohmigod," Eggsy sighs, lying sated and content in the small sofa in Dr. Rosen's office. "Harry, fuckin' hell, guv... can we do tha' again?"

"What, right now? You can barely move, Eggsy."

"I can take it."

Harry chuckles. "I've no doubt, my dear boy. I, however, am twice your age."

Eggsy dismisses his comment with a wave.

Fully dressed once again, Harry clears his throat. "In all seriousness, Eggsy, I'm afraid we won't be doing that again anytime soon."

Eggsy sits up. "Wot?! Oh no. Don't you fucking dare, Mr. Hart -"

"I told you to call me Harry."

"Nuh uh, you're only Harry when I like you, and right now I ain't too happy with you. I ain't a one-and-done, Mr. Hart. You ain't my professor no more, there's no reason why we can't -"

"Eggsy," Harry says gently, "I'm no longer your professor, but I will be your sponsor and I'm afraid we won't be in contact for most of your training." He glances at his watch. "Shit, we're going to be late. Get dressed Eggsy, stop by the bathroom and clean yourself up as best you can. We have a job interview to get to."

Eggsy stares at him incredulously. "With all due respect, Mr. Hart, what the  _fuck_ are you on about?"

Harry sighs. "Eggsy, do you remember when you found my gun in my office?"

"Yeah?"

"You asked me if I was a policeman. Well, I'm not, and neither do I work for MI-5. Or MI-6, for that matter. I'm a Kingsman, Eggsy, and I'm offering you the opportunity to become one as well."

"A wot?"

"A Kingsman agent."

"... like a spy."

"Of sorts. Interested?"

 

 

 

_The End_

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> (Imagine Merlin's face when he finds out that Roxy is Percival's candidate, and Percival finding out that Merlin's been fooling around with her! Ooh boy, Merlin's in trouble!)
> 
> Sorry for the lack of smut and if things seemed a bit rushed toward the end, but this was already getting out of hand and I needed to make the deadline!
> 
> ~
> 
> Catch me on [tumblr](http://galahartbreaker.tumblr.com/) ;)


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